A Storm of Swords - 4/5

In the third book of the epic series A Song of Ice and Fire so much happens oh my gosh. I'm not even sure how to review this, as I think this has to be the most action packed book of the whole series so far. I read it as two separate books as per usual for the UK editions, but I will be reviewing them both together so be warned - SERIOUS SPOILERS AHEAD. 

To start off, let's bring back the ever so fun list: Who Wants To Be on The Iron Throne?

• Stannis Baratheon - the 'true' heir to the throne

• Renly Baratheon - the next 'true' heir, after Stannis  DEAD - killed by a shadow(?) of his brother Stannis

• Joffery Baratheon/Lannister- the actual current king, no true claim due to his being a bastard born of incest  DEAD - killed by poison/choking at his own wedding feast, suceeded by his younger brother Tommen Baratheon/Lannister who now sits on the throne

• Robb Stark - the 'king in the north'  DEAD - I can't even talk about this just yet oh god. It still hurts.

• Balon Greyjoy - the 'king' of the Iron Islands  DEAD - Apparently he fell off a bridge? I don't buy it, the guy practically lived on a bridge. 

• Mance Rayder - the 'king beyond the wall'  Alive for now, but is pretty much out of the running for anything since Stannis has him and is probably going to give him to the crazy ass red priestess to BBQ. 

• Daenerys Targaryan - the 'original' heir to the throne

See how difficult this book is to discuss already? EVERYONE IS DEAD. Although to be fair, Renly did die in the previous book, I just didn't mention it much in the previous review. Poor Renly. But poor everyone at this point, actually! I have to say though, Joffery's death was very satisfying. I waited a long time for his end, and when it came it was humiliating, painful and public. Then his mother and uncle/father had sex right next to his dead body. In church. I don't think I could have been more satisfied if I'd actually written it myself. I couldn't believe Jaime's story development. I think the only thing that could have possibly made him a sympathetic character was what happened, so it was a good call. I think I quite like him now, although I do still pity Cersei a lot. I want to talk about Tyrion separately below.

Let's talk about the Red Wedding. I'd heard a lot about this infamous chapter before actually coming across it, and I had a vague idea that it involved the Starks and a fair amount of bloody death. Now I did say in the last review that I was not optimistic for the longevity of the Stark family in general, which probably means I should have been better prepared for what I encountered in this book. Nope. It was everything I'd been warned and more - I genuinely had to put it down at one point to just... collect my feelings. This little cartoon very accurately sums it up:

(credit: Mark Oshiro, http://markreads.net/reviews/2011/10/mark-reads-a-storm-of-swords/)

It hurt so much. Poor Robb. Poor Cat. I couldn't have predicted Catelyn's death if you'd paid me, so I think that, and the fact it was all from her POV, was the most upsetting part of it for me. Although that Epilogue... wow. What the hell is going on here. In other Stark news though, Bran is off wandering the extreme North with the weird Reed kids, Rickon is... actually where is Rickon? I swear he wasn't in this book at all. Arya had an extremely frustrating trip, which evolved and changed throughout the book, brought her so close to her family again, and then tore them apart again - now she seems to be going in a different direction though, and I can't wait to follow her story further. Sansa's journey was both triumphant and sad; she is married off to Tyrion, then escapes and is finally out of the clutches of the Lannisters, only to seemingly fall into an even weirder and more unstable world with the immensely powerful and creepy Littlefinger, of all people. I hope something goes well for her soon. And let's not forget Jon of course, who grows up a lot in this book, coming to terms with what it actually means to be a man of the Night's Watch and ending up the book with a huge amount of power at his disposal as the new Lord Commander. I'm interested to see how he manages this, after all it is the most power, respect and responsibility he has ever had in his entire life, bless him. 

This is getting long but I really want to talk about both Tyrion and Dany, for different reasons. I am so so thrilled with Tyrion's story. He was finally pushed too far by his terrible family, and his final chapter was simply outstanding. Lord Tywin is not untouchable after all, and Tyrion might finally have some kind of closure, although it certainly comes at a massive price. What on earth can he possibly do now? I think he must leave Westeros, or else die quite soon in the next book. Daenarys, let me love you please. She made some naive mistakes and trusted some people too easily, but her badass moments are coming quicker and with more actual cheering. Seriously, her confrontation with the slavers when they try to take Drogon is incredible. I'm interested to see how her story evolves as she stays in one place for once and actually has a go at ruling rather than just tearing across the country. I'm still rooting for her. 

Onwards to A Feast For Crows, hopefully with slightly less tears and more out-loud cheering.